February 2012
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Anonymous asked: how do i casually start talking to u without seeming creepy? lol
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Dear whoever is reading this, you're beautiful and...
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
I am so fucking tired
just please turn your god damn mother fucking light off
you have a desk lamp
and you’re on the computer
I have a 9:30 class and slept 6 hours last night
danced for three hours
was so exhausted on saturday I couldn’t function
if I go to bed right this second i’ll get 7 hours of sleep
I need to function tomorrow
I have to right a 5 page paper on tegan...
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I'm so exhausted i'm finally going to get some...
lol just fucking kidding every light in this tiny fucking box of a room is on
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“Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in...”
– Maya Angelou (via roamingthoughtsofahauntedmind)
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I can't wait to see Kate Winslet's breasts in 3-D.
Anonymous asked: LOQ
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Bon Iver: And I told you to be patient, and I told you to be fine. I told you to be balanced, and I told you to be kind, but now all your love is wasted. And then who the hell was I?
Death Cab: So one last touch and then you'll go and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. But it was vile, and it was cheap and you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me. Yeah, you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
Radiohead: But I can't help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling if I just turn and run. And it wears me out... It wears me out. If I could be who you wanted, if I could be who you wanted all the time... all the time.
Brand New: You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold. Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones, spring keeps you ever close. You are secondhand smoke, you are so fragile and thin standing trial for your sins. Holding onto yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins.
Nicki Minaj: You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, yeah you a you a stupid hoe.You a stupid hoe you a you a stupid hoe. You stupid stupid, you a stupid hoe
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e-pic:
plot twist: suddenly oprah shows up and has an oscar for everyone under their chairs
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Oscar Night Drinking Game: During the Show Version
didyoujustmolotovmybrother:
During the Oscars take a drink each time:
Someone thanks their parents.
Billy Crystal sings.
Each time the camera cuts to George Clooney.
Every time the band tries to cut off someone’s speech.
Someone cries.
If Meryl Streep wins Best Actress and does her best ”Taylor Swift surprised” face.
Someone says, “I couldn’t have done this without ….”
Each time Uggie...
